Why Is My Son Thinking This Way?

my 16 yr old son have been doing Mix Martial Arts for a few yrs and trains very hard. He does wrestling, muay thai, and the one where you can do whatever you want like submission moves. etc. its like the one on spike tv but for teens.


my soon to be 14 yr old son wants to join the basketball team at the high school he is going to (my 16 yr old son goes there) but my 16 yr old thinks his younger brother is a disgrace to him for wanting to participate in such a "sissy" sport. he thinks his younger brother should do MMA just like him.





I don't want you guys to think that my 16 yr old is a bad guy because hes not. he gets good grades, a good friend, a good son, a good guy. but its just the way he thinks about some stuff is kinda weird. like on the sport subject for example.

Why Is My Son Thinking This Way?
Maybe he feels that if your younger son joins an activity that it will be taking time from him. Maybe he's worried that he won't be getting as much attention. You should pull him aside, just you and him, and question him to see what's up.
Reply:everyone's entitiled to their own opinions, but he is at the teenage years where he (16) thinks his brother should be just like him. basketball is a good sport, and your son (14) should do it if he wants to. talk to them
Reply:He is playing the classic older brother. He might also be a little threatened at the thought of his younger brother's carving out a niche for himself. If your 16 year-old is really advanced in MMA, he probably doubts that his little brother could surpass him.





Basketball is definitely a more popular sport in high school. If your younger son makes the team and has talent, he is assured popularity. Perhaps your older son knows this and feels uneasy at the thought.





I personally wouldn't allow comments like "disgrace" from one of my kids to another. I would find a way to discipline the child who would be so unkind to the other. Is there a way that you can show your older son how proud you are of his accomplishments while letting him know that under no circumstances is he allowed to put his brother down? Maybe you could talk to him about honor as a strength in martial arts. Ask him how he can be proud of his advancement in martial arts while not honoring his own.
Reply:Good old sibling rivalry. It is up to you as a parent to make it clear to your older son that he may not make any belittling remarks to his brother. Both boys are individuals with different likes and dislikes. It is unfair and damaging for your son to criticize his brother. It sounds like he wants to start trouble. You need to step in and be a parent.
Reply:I would say that you need to remind your elder son that one of the hallmarks of martial arts is its philosophy, and that tolerance is part of that philosophy. He needs to be taught that each of us is different, and deserves the same respect, regardless of our personal choices and preferences. If your younger son chooses something other than the martial arts, your elder son needs to be tolerant and respectful of that choice, rather than demeaning his brother.
Reply:my sister in high school wanted to train for child care and i did 3 sports in high school.. i use to think she was a sissy for not being in tough sports... as a mom now i trade the basic purpose of being able to kick a ball or run with one in hand for the discipline that it takes to be a mom, i can't compare myself with her because she was born to be a mom, and i now respect that i can go to her for advice on my children.... and she likes that i take her kids and teach them what i know in sports... we don't have to be the same, just cause we are sisters, we both excel in what we like.
Reply:Your older son is being a rude punk to his brother.How do I know this???? i have a 17yr old and a 16 year old and a 14yr old.My 17yr old is the same way to his younger brothers.Im not calling your son a punk,just a figure of speech.
Reply:maybe you could take him to a pro basketball game, or a college one where he could meet some of the players, have you ever seen or met one, he would not think it was a sissy sport then
Reply:i know he's not a bad guy but he's only too protective to his brother and he should also remmember that they are not the same what the younger brother likes is what he wants to do heartedly so let him play the basket ball because i believe that God has given us different talents so what if he's going to be a best player, a star with medals and trophies so give him the freedom he deserve. then the older brother must understand that we are all different we just need to appreciate each other.
Reply:Maybe he's jealous. He' used to the attention and the oohs and awe's of being the champ. Now he's just gonna have to get used to sharing the spotlight.





Maybe he wants his bro. to join MMA so he (16 yr. old) can be the one who was there first. And can bark orders at him.





OR





Maybe he just wants his brother to do things that would involve both of them so they can have something in common. It would be something they could relate too and have fun hanging out with each other.





Either way he should be supporting his Little Brother. Doesn't his brother support him, now?
Reply:Tell you 16 year old that not everybody is like him (thank God we're all different). It's none of his business what his brother chooses to do!!

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