Do massage parlours have security personnell and are they likely to carry guns?

You see, I've always wanted to go to one and demand a proper therapeutic massage for my back pain, only to have my suspicions aroused that everything is less than 100% legit part way through and demand to see copies of my masseuse's qualiications, etc.





However, I'm concerned that the evening will end with my being shot through the back of the skull and my body being dumped in the wheelie bin out the back, among the needles and the tramps vomitting up White lightening, which is probably a bit more than I'm prepared to risk for a massage parlour gag.





On the other hand, I'm a big, fit guy with considerable martial arts training, so if we're talking an overweight ex-squaddie with missing teeth and a cocaine addiction coming to give me a slap with a bit of old hosepipe, I fancy my chances





Can anybody enlighten me?

Do massage parlours have security personnell and are they likely to carry guns?
Most massage parlours don't have a dedicated security personnel. They just have a maid, who is basically a receptionist. The maid is normally female but can be male.





Only a complete dick-head would go in there and demand to see qualifications. The only thing you are likely to get is a crap shag.
Reply:well if he's male don't be sure that's a gun poking u...be worried
Reply:the only shooting to be done should be done by the customer
Reply:Should you be out on your own?
Reply:Well I am well %26amp; truely confused because you are saying you want a massage for back pain but you want to go to a massage parlour,I wish you people would'nt get so confused,a massage parlour is for personal services %26amp; the massage is just to get you realaxed etc not to get rid off your aches %26amp; pains,so go to a profesional massage place that deals with this kind of problem you have and as for security yes places do have them,well you should see some of the chancers that come in on the rob..
Reply:if I were them, I would have a gun.


lots of people have guns at work,


if you have a concern, then it is likely for a good reason.





have you tried nicely asking them what they will do without demanding it ?





being sweet can often get you further than being mean.
Reply:depends what type of gun
Reply:Go and have a w***k, it's safer!
Reply:The White Lightening sounds a bit harsh on the stomach, prof! (You will always be my Prof!) hey - a fellow martial artist - how cool! what Belt Grading or Dan level and stripe are you? are you practised in pressure point form and style? you could also run a bit of protection in the form of security services and maybe even get a quid pro quo out of it??!! (God now Im going to have all the martial arts sector on my A*** for making such frivolous comments - see what I am prepared to do for you PP??!!)


Anyway - I see this as the perfect way for you to have total control of security issues in the environment you are describing, PLUS getting the ol' Python syphoned!! (do you think I'll get in trouble for this comment??!!)